lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
