I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
