Best friends brother. Beat that.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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