This is the prime rib incident all over again
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
