its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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