Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
