My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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