My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.