he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
