I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....