Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
