eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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