Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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