.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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