walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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