i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize