I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
