adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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