if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
