Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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