The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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