so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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