i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
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