after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
