I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
