Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
