i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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