Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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