this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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