I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
