I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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