I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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