ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
