the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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