He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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