Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I wish i was in the wii world.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
