you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
