I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
40s are totally the cure
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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