Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i just had sex bonerless
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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