ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
