just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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