When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
