so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I love you.
Bad choice
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
