giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
