What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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