OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
