I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
