she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
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But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
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After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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