how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
