Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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