I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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