Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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