You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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