I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
