you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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