And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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