his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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