Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
