a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
