My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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