My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
