Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize