shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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