I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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