I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Don't tell me you're on acid again
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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