I never want to see another naked old woman again.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
